I almost know what I'm doing

What goes with eggnog?

Mincemeat pies. Um, sorta mincemeat. And kinda not really a pie.

Proper 'mincemeat' really does have meat in it. In fact, the picadillo I stuffed into poblano peppers is more like traditional mincemeat than this filling is, but I've never been one for tradition. I am firmly of the opinion that "it's always been done this way" is the best reason to do it another way.

And so I stuffed biscuit dough with fruit.

(first eggnog, now mincemeat... almost seems like we're actually on top of a holiday for once)

Minced Fruit Pasties (or Turnovers, if you prefer)

What you need:

• 1 recipe's worth of biscuit dough or biscuit dough
• 2.5 small wrinkly apples, or about that much apple
• a few dried pears (or apricots, or some other fruit)
• 1/2 c dates
• zest from one orange
• 1/2 inch ginger
• 2 tbsp butter
• 2 tbsp cinnamon sugar (or cinnamon and sugar to make that amount)
• 1 tsp vanilla (you can use some kind of booze here if you'd like)
• 1 egg

What you gotta do:

I had a few apples in the fruit basket that have been there for way too long. I once read "wisened" as a description for apples, and I think that's what these ones were. Fresh crisp ones would work fine too, but if you've got a couple old ones sitting around... (anyone seeing my inspiration for this recipe?)

Put your grater into a medium sized bowl, and start grating apples. Peel them? What? Why? I rarely see any reason to peel apples. The peel is completely edible, doesn't taste bad, and will add colour to things if it's red. Plus, that's extra work.

Zest the orange on a microplane grater, and then use it for the ginger. Microplanes are great for ginger.

Chop whatever dried fruit you're using into small chunks. If you've got some candied orange peel, that would work too.

My butter and cinnamon sugar are already combined, leftover from the cinnamon buns, but yours should go in now, separately if that's how they are.

Vanilla too. Or booze, your call.

Now, the dates. You can pre-chop these if you want, but dates are pretty easy to mash, so I just dumped mine in whole and went at them with a wooden spoon.

If you don't happen to have a batch of biscuit dough in the fridge because you made a double when you did yesterday's cinnamon biscuit buns for brunch, you'll have to make some.

If you do: handy! Roll it out into a rectangle.

I cut mine into 9 pieces; the pieces were the right size (about 5x5 inches), but this only makes filling for 6. I'm sure you can find something to stuff into those biscuits. A bit of sausage would be nice... Sausage biscuit rolls!

Drop a couple or three tablespoons of the filling mixture on one side of a biscuit square, and spread it out into a triangle-ish shape. No meat, but it kinda looks like there is...

Don't get too close to the edge. Fold the other half of the dough over the filling to make a triangle.

Starting at one of the corner points, lift the bottom dough and stretch-fold-roll it over the top dough. Biscuit dough is sticky enough that you shouldn't need any water or egg to make the edges stick, but if yours aren't sticking, water will help.

Stretch-fold-roll your way toward the point, then stretch-fold-roll along to the other corner.

Apparently I took no pictures of this process.

When you're done, they should look something like these:

Brush them with an egg with a tsp of water beaten into it.

Cut a slit or two in the top so steam can escape. If you to this, you are less likely to have filling explode out of the side. You can dust the tops with sugar too if you'd like.

Bake them at 400 for about 20 minutes.

I'm still working the kinks out of my new oven, but I'm pretty sure I was around 400, and mine only took 18 minutes.

They'll be lovely and shiney and golden when they're done.

And some of them will have strangely face-like features.

Tasty served with morning coffee, afternoon tea, or a glass of evening eggnog.

Stick around. We are actually going to pull off some holiday shit this year. Taneasha's thinking sweets, and I'll be making small things you can eat with one hand.

Maybe one day I'll get back to writing things you want to read with only one hand... ;)

Homemade Eggnog

To me, nothing reminds me of the holiday season than eggnog.  I’ve always loved the stuff.  As a kid, I wasn’t picky.  I even liked the instant eggnog mix that you just stirred into milk.  These days I find it difficult to find a brand of eggnog that I like.  The expensive ones with the best spices tend to have a really thick consistency that is way too snot like for me.  The ‘light’ ones have a better consistency, but they tend to also be light on spice.  Well, if you can’t find a suitable version in the store, it’s time to make your own. 

Here’s what you’ll need:

• 4 cups milk
• 1 cup cream
• ⅓ - ½  cup sugar
• 2 egg yolks
• Piece of a vanilla bean
• 1 whole nutmeg

A lot of the recipes I’ve seen online just say to throw everything into a blender.  For some reason the thought of drinking raw eggs makes me want to hurl, though, so I made a cooked version.  So, pour your milk and cream into a pan over low heat. 

Very carefully cut your nutmeg in half.  I’ll be honest, I don’t have any brilliant tips on how to do it safely. 

Actually, scratch that, I’ve just had an epiphany.  You’re going to need to grate the other half of the nutmeg later, so just grate that half off now, and set it aside.

Then drop the intact half into the milk. 

I can’t believe I didn’t figure that plan out before now.  It addresses two safety problems you see.  Not only the dangerous act of cutting a small, round, hard object in half, but also, grating the nutmeg while it’s whole will hopefully prevent you from accidentally grating your finger. 

Next up is the vanilla bean.  Cut a third-ish of it off. 

Carefully split it down the middle. 

Then just run the back of your knife along the inside scraping out the seeds. 

Plop them into the milk and whisk to get them to separate and distribute themselves throughout.     

Now it’s time to move to the eggs.  Drop your yolks into a mixing bowl along with the sugar.  I used ½ cup, which made it pretty sweet.  Next time I think I’ll use ⅓ cup instead.  I’d say, if you’re unsure, start with ⅓ cup and you can taste it when it’s finished but still hot, and add more if you need to.

Mix on medium speed until it all comes together.  You probably noticed that my yolks are a dark orange color.  That’s because they come from local, pasture raised hens.  They are seriously amazing. At this stage, go ahead and scrape everything down, then turn the mixer back on and allow it to run for a minute or two. 

(Don’t forget to stir your milk.)  This is pretty close here.  Just one more scrape down and another quick whirl.  

Now you can step away from that and put your full attention on the milk mixture.  Go ahead and bump the heat up a little.  Stir constantly until it comes just to a simmer.  My nutmeg conveniently lodged itself in my whisk, but if yours doesn’t, you’ll want to fish it out now. 

This next part is another do as I say not as I do moment.  With the mixer running on medium low speed, slowly pour in the hot milk.  As you can see from the picture, there was nothing slow about my pouring.  Perhaps trying to take pictures while pouring a full pan of hot liquid into a running mixer isn’t the brightest idea.  Fortunately, I didn’t burn myself, but I did get milk all over the bar, and was afraid I could have curdled the eggs the hot liquid in that fast. 

Allow the mixer to run while you give the pan a quick wash.  The mixture should be nice and frothy. 

Now, if you had a pouring mishap like I did (or even if you didn’t) you might want to pour the mixture through a sieve as you return it back to the pan, just to make sure it’s nice and smooth. 

It should look something like this:

Sprinkle on your reserved nutmeg.  I know it looks like a lot, but this is eggnog we’re talking about.  Nutmeg is what makes it special. 

Stirring constantly, bring the mixture up to a boil. 

Then turn off the heat, but continue to stir for a couple minutes just to make sure it doesn’t scorch on the bottom. 

You’ve done it!  You’ve made homemade eggnog!  And I’m going to bet it’s the best you’ve ever had.  You have a couple of options at this point.  Go ahead and taste it to see if it needs anymore sugar or nutmeg.  First thing you have to decide is do you want nog in your eggnog.  I don’t drink alcohol, but if you do, go ahead and add some good rum, or whatever your heart desires.  Next, you have to decided if you want to drink it hot or cold.  If you like it hot, go ahead and ladle it into mugs.  Personally, I prefer eggnog cold.  For that, go ahead and put a lid on the pan and allow it to cool.  Once it has, pour it into a vessel and refrigerate for several hours. 

When serving, simply grate a bit more nutmeg over the top to make it fragrant and pretty, and enjoy! 

How do you like your eggnog?