And so begins the Mayhem!

Last May, we had a wee bit o' the crazy going on. Taneasha was eating nothing but road food as she was being chased across the country by tornadoes, I was posting about ice cream and toads (and dumb fuck june bugs) and neighbours with guns and really, we barely made it out alive.

So, this year, we decided to do it all over again.

Of course the first thing that happens is I get locked out of the website while Taneasha is trapped in a car crossing 5 different state lines in 12 hours. And so, No Post For You! (today? yes, Tuesday? no)

We're pretty sure she's not going to be homeless in the middle of the month, but I'm evicting her from Fridays for a while.

Carrot Cake Cookies with White Chocolate Cream Cheese Icing

(Yes, that whole thing is the name of the recipe. Yes, I'm a freaking genius to mix white chocolate and cream cheese)

What you need:

• 2-3 carrots (~1 1/2 c once grated)
• 1 c butter
• 1 1/2 csugar
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 egg
• 1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp cardamom
• 2 1/2 c flour
• 1 tsp baking powder

not shown, but also worth adding

• 1/2 tsp allspice
• 1 tbsp orange zest

What you gotta do:

Preheat your oven to 350.

Grate the carrots. If you do this by hand, you are insane and you probably have no skin left on your knuckles.

Since you've already got the food processor dirtied, may as well go all the way. Switch from the grater blade to the regular blade.

Dump in the butter and sugar and let the sharp things do all the work.

I was going to continue the whole recipe in the food processor, thinking I could save dishes that way, but I wasn't convinced that it would be able to hold the whole recipe's worth. Cut this recipe in half and do the whole thing in the food processor. It makes a lot of cookies anyway and you can save a few dishes.

If you're doing the full recipe, dump the sweet carrot butter into a bowl and add the egg, vanilla, and spices (and orange zest).

Mash this all together then start adding flour. I did a cup at a time and mixed well after each one.

This gradual-addition-and-lots-of-mixing method will result in a cookie with a cakier texture.

You should have a stiff, but sticky dough.

And you also should have added the baking powder with the flour... dammit.

I sprinkled about half a teaspoon of baking powder over the dough and mixed it for a couple more minutes. Seemed to work.

There are a couple ways you can make these cookies.

You can just drop spoonfuls of dough onto the cookie sheet and bake them, but they don't spread like most drop cookies. They hold their shape. So you'll probably end up patting the tops down a bit so they aren't so blobby.

You can also chill the dough for about half an hour and then roll it into balls and poke them until they're shaped like eythrocytes. (word of the day, bonus points if you know it, google it if you don't)

Bake them at 350 for about 14-16 minutes. They should be barely browning on the bottom and look dry on top.

This recipe makes 5 dozen cookies! I really recommend cutting it in half. Good luck with the egg.

Now, you could eat these as is. But no one eats carrot cake because they like it. They're all after the icing.

• 1 c cream cheese
• 1 c icing sugar
• 4 oz white chocolate

Cream the cream cheese and icing sugar together.

Melt the chocolate in the microwave on 50% power 30 seconds at a time until you can stir the last of the lumps out of it.

(yes there are only 3 oz in the bowl. I added the fourth after I decided I wanted it)

Pour the melted chocolate into the sugary cream cheese and mix well.

Making the icing is never the hard part. Icing 61 cookies with what I'm pretty sure is the world's stickiest icing is the hard part. It never really sets, and it stays sticky, even after an hour in the fridge.

But they taste damn good.

 Did you know what an erythrocyte was??

Strawberry Mockaritas

No, that isn’t the Boston accent wearing off on me.  I’m calling these mock-aritas because I didn’t put any alcohol in them.  You’re welcome, of course, to add any kind of booze you like.  I just don’t partake of the spirits.  That being said, I’m in Virginia looking for a house right now (that’s right, it looks like we’re headed for May-hem!!! again this year) so I’m going to keep this post short and sweet.

Here’s what you’ll need:

2 cups chopped strawberries
¼ cup lime juice (probably 2 limes)
½ cup simple syrup
(½ cup sugar + ⅓ cup water)
1 cup ice

To make the simple syrup, combine ½ cup sugar and ⅓ cup water.  Stir them over medium heat until the sugar is completely dissolved and the mixture comes to a full boil. 

Turn off the heat, and with a vegetable peeler, cut a strip of peel from one of your limes.

Then drop it into the hot syrup. 

Allow that to cool, and then refrigerate it so that it’s nice and cold.  When you’re ready to make the drinks, hull your strawberries.  Chopping really isn’t necessary, but I wanted to get a measurement, and you can’t do that if they’re whole.  It was about a half pound of strawberries.

Throw the strawberries into the blender along with the lime juice, simple syrup, and ice.

And let ‘er rip!

Now for the rim.  Run a lime wedge around the top of the glass.  (Yes, this is a cheap plastic one.  It’s all I could find on short notice so I had to make due)

I know most restaurants serve strawberry margaritas with sugar on the rim, but trust me, salt is WAY better.  If you haven’t tried it, you must, and if you still insist on using sugar, you can follow the same steps.  Just don’t tell me about it.  So, make yourself a nice ring of salt on a plate then turn the glass over and place the rim into the salt. 

See?  Perfect rim job. 

Pour the strawberry mixture into the glass. 

Garnish with a slice of lime, and enjoy.  Sweet, salty, fruity, tangy, these strawberry mockaritas are seriously fabulous. 

So, what’s your favorite drink?