"Green Bean" Casserole

So I was talking to Hubby about the fact that I’ve totally neglected Thanksgiving posts this year.  He said I should make green bean casserole, which is kind of ironic considering he doesn’t like green beans or anything even resembling a casserole.  I know green bean casserole is a very traditional side for Thanksgiving, but I’ll be honest, I’m not a fan a green beans either.  Not to mention the canned crap it’s usually made with. Hubby suggested I use asparagus.  Why not?  I love asparagus.  I shouldn’t admit this in public, but I’m pretty sure he’s a genius.  So, if you like your traditional green beans, you can use them, or broccoli, or cauliflower, but I’m sticking with asparagus. 

Here’s what you’ll need: 

• 1 lb. asparagus
• 3 or 4 green onions
• Handful of crimini mushrooms
• 3 Tablespoons butter
• 3 Tablespoons flour
• ½ teaspoon pepper
• 2 cups milk
• ½ cup cream
• 1 teaspoon salt  
• ½ teaspoon dried oregano (Mexican if you have it)
• ½ teaspoon dried parsley
• ½ teaspoon onion powder
• ½ teaspoon garlic powder 

For the onions: 

• 1 onion
• 1 cup buttermilk
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ½ teaspoon pepper
• 1 cup flour
• ½ teaspoon salt

The first thing to do is slice the onion.  Cut the onion in half (I like to leave the root end on to hold it all together) and make very thin slices. 

Repeat with the other half. 

Separate the slices and place them into a shallow dish like a pie plate.  (If ever there was a time for onion goggles, this is it.) Measure out 1 cup of buttermilk.

Add ½ teaspoon of salt.

And ½ teaspoon of pepper.

Stir that together and pour over the top of the onions. 

Toss the onions to make sure they’re all coated, then cover them and set them aside.

Now onto the star of the show, the asparagus.  After it’s washed, bend each stalk and allow it to break where it will.  Anything below the break is tough and goes in the trash. 

As for the rest, cut them into thirds and throw them into a large bowl. 

Next up, the mushrooms.  I always wash my mushrooms. 

I know, I’ve heard all the nonsense about water making mushrooms soggy or tough or whatever else it’s supposed to do.  Well, quite frankly, I don’t believe any of it, and regardless, I’ll take my chances.  If any other piece of produce looked like this, it would be getting a good bath. 

Cut your mushrooms into chunks.  Do what you want with the stems.  I didn’t want to deal with trimming them, so I just discarded them. 

Add them to the bowl and slice your green onions.  I ended up with maybe ¼ cup. 

And into the bowl. 

Now it’s time for the cream sauce.  As I’ve mentioned before, condensed cream of blech soups are nasty and not allowed in my home.  It just isn’t that hard to make a cream sauce.  In a pan over medium heat, melt 3 Tablespoons of butter.

When it’s completely melted and bubbling, sprinkle over 3 Tablespoons of flour.

Stir those together until they look something like this.

Sprinkle in ½ teaspoon of black pepper. 

Stir that around for 45 seconds or so and then pour in 2 cups of milk.

Stir that together, then add ½ cup cream, 1 teaspoon salt, ½ teaspoon each of dried oregano, dried parsley, onion powder, and garlic powder. 

Stir constantly until it comes to a boil and begins to thicken. 

Remove it from the heat and pour it over your bowl o’ veg. 

Stir that until everything is evenly distributed and pour it into a baking dish.  Smooth out the top and set it aside while you get back to the onions. 

Preheat your oven to 450°.  In a storage bag, mix together 1 cup flour and ½ teaspoon salt. 

Remove the onions from the buttermilk and allow the excess to drip off.  (if you’re planning to make savory biscuits, that would be a fabulous second round use for this buttermilk)

Drop them into the flour. 

Inflate the bag like a balloon and shake shake shake. 

You should end up with something like this.  If you start getting sticky clumps, add more flour and shake some more.

Line a sheet pan with foil and spray it liberally with cooking spray.  Sprinkle the onions around trying your best to get close to a single layer. 

Spray the onions liberally with the same cooking spray and into the oven they go.  9-10 minutes is all it will take for them to be browned and crispy. 

*Warning, the oven at this temperature is hot and even with no smoke can send up a wave of air hot enough to set off the fire alarm, thereby scaring the bejesus out of the dog, for which it will take many treats to be forgiven. 

Now back to the casserole part of this.  Turn the oven down to 350° and place the pan in, uncovered for about 50 minutes.  It will be nice and bubbly and starting to brown on top. 

Give it a good stir then chop your crispy onions into slightly smaller pieces and sprinkle them over the top.  (Obviously it wouldn't be the same, but you could save yourself some work and probably get a similar effect by mixing panko with melted butter and onion powder and sprinkling that over the casserole before baking) 

The heat emanating from the casserole will warm the onions, so just leave it to cool for a good 20 minutes, and serve or put it on the table with all the other fabulous sides you’ve made.  You will be blown away by what a difference it makes to skip the can and make your own. 

What is your least favorite Thanksgiving side dish?