Oh Fudgy Fudge, Oh Fudgy Fudge

Hubby and I don’t really do a lot of gifts or decorations, so in my house, nothing makes it feel more like the holidays than the aroma of homemade candy filling the house.  One of my favorites is fudge.  I don’t mean the sweetened condensed milk and melted chocolate “easy fudge”.  I’m talking about rich, creamy fudge, made with sugar, butter, cream, and love.  Yes, love.  Trust me, it’s a very important ingredient for good fudge.  It takes a fair bit of time, as well, so let’s get started. 

Here’s what you’ll need:

3 cups sugar
1 Tablespoon cocoa
½ teaspoon salt
3 Tablespoons syrup
1 cup half and half
6 Tablespoons butter
4 oz. good chocolate
1 teaspoon vanilla

The first thing you need to do is butter a 9x13 pyrex pan and set it aside, on top of hot pads or a folded dish towel.  Next, chop up your chocolate fairly small, and set it aside as well.  In a heavy sauce pan (at least 3 quarts or larger), put your sugar, cocoa, and salt. 

Whisk them together and pour in the half and half (I know the picture shows heavy cream, but I decided half and half would actually work better) and syrup.  I used brown rice syrup, but I realize a lot of people don’t have that on hand, so you can use golden syrup or corn syrup.  Turn your heat to medium low 

Stir that until it’s all combined nicely and add the chocolate. 

As the chocolate melts, the mixture will turn a much better color for fudge. 

Keep stirring the mixture.  You want the sugar to dissolve before it comes to a boil, so don’t rush it.  See all of those crystals? 

Crystals are evil.  They will make your fudge grainy, rather than creamy and smooth.  When you no longer see crystals on the spoon or hear them on the bottom of the pan, turn the heat to medium high and keep stirring until the mixture comes to a boil.  When it reaches a boil, stop stirring and place the lid on for 3 minutes.  During that time, wash your spoon to make sure it has no crystals on it.  When the 3 minutes are up, remove the lid, but don’t stir.  All the crystals from the sides of the pan should have been washed down by the steam.  Time to start checking for temperature.  As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t use a candy thermometer.  I prefer to just test the consistency in ice water.  Put your clean spoon into the mixture and get just a bit on it. 

As you can see from the picture, my 2 ½ quart pan was not big enough to really be safe.  Make sure yours is bigger than that.  Anyway, back to testing.  Drop a bit of the candy into a small dish of ice water.

When you pick it up with your fingers, it should just form a ball, but be nice and soft still.  This is also a good time to rub it between you fingers and make sure it's smooth. 

When you get to that point, get it off the heat and pour it into your prepared pyrex pan.  This is why the pan needs to be on hot pads.  This mixture is HOT!  (Ignore the butter in this picture.  This is where I’ve always added the butter, but yours is already in.  I’ll explain later.)

There will be a layer of chocolaty goodness in the bottom of the pan, but resist the urge to scrape it out, lest you bring unwanted crystals with it.  You can scrape it out later if you want, and it'll taste a bit like a tootsie roll.

Now, leave it to cool, undisturbed.  It needs to get to the point where the bottom of the pan is still warm, but not too hot to keep your hand against it.  That will probably take 30 minutes or so.  Just check periodically by picking up the pan and feeling the bottom.  I know, not terribly scientific, but that’s how I roll.  While it’s cooling, go ahead and prep the pan it’s going to end up in.  A square pan works well for this.  Butter the bottom and sides.

Then line with parchment, cutting it large enough that you’ll have ‘handles’.  The butter is there to keep the parchment in place for you.   

When your fudge mixture is to the proper temperature, it’s time to start stirring.  If you have a tool like this, it is ideal for this purpose. 

Place the pan on top of a damp dish towel to keep it from moving around.  Pour your vanilla over the top and then start at the edge and scrape toward the middle. 

Oh dear.  That’s not good.  If, in spite of your exhaustive efforts, you have a grainy mess like me, don’t panic.  These things happen, even to the best of us.

Scrape the mess, butter, vanilla, and all, back into your (now clean) sauce pan with ½ cup of water and start the cooking process over. 

I had trouble getting all the lumps to dissolve, so I eventually put it through a mesh strainer and back into the (clean again) sauce pan.  Go through the same cooking process, stirring it until it boils, covering, and then testing for temperature in water again.  Make sure you’ve washed your pyrex pan and rebuttered it, and pour your mixture in to cool again.  So, as I mentioned earlier, I used to always place the 6 T of butter in the pan and pour the hot mixture over it.  This is when I realized it was much easier to just put the butter in with everything else, and it certainly didn’t cause any problems. 

So, while it was cooling, a package was delivered.  It was my Christmas gift from my mom.  Me being me, I didn't wait to open it.  After much confusion as to what was in the box, I eventually figured out it was bottles of homemade salsa, jam, and pickles.  Squee!!

That might not sound terribly exciting to you, but it was a happy dance moment for me.  Bottling is something I do with my mom every year.  Because of my move, not only was I unable to do it with her, but I was living in hotels and other craziness, so I couldn’t even bottle my own stuff.  I didn’t think I’d get to enjoy a bottle of homemade salsa or jam until summer.  Admittedly, I may have shed a few tears after my happy dance, as I experienced my first truly homesick moment.  I miss you, Mom.  Thank you. 

Ok, *deep breath* back to the fudge.  Even if you already added vanilla once, the flavor will have mostly cooked out, so go ahead and add it again.  Make sure your stirring tool is clean, and scrape from the edges into the middle. 

Ah, much better!  It should be smooth and sticky, and it’ll kind of run in ribbons. 

Stir, scrape, stir, scrape.  After a few minutes, you’re going to say, “That Taneasha chick is up in the night.  This is not fudge.”  But slowly it will become more opaque and less shiny.  Keep stirring.

At this point, you’ll start getting excited.  “I think it’s going!”  But keep stirring. 

And next comes, “It’s fudgifying!!”  By now your arm is probably really tired, unless you have someone to relieve you from time to time, but push through it.  You’re almost there.  If you want nuts, marshmallows, chocolate chips, etc. in your fudge, now's the time to add them. 

Houston, we have fudge!   

Definitely opaque, very stiff, and no longer stretchy or sticky.  See?

Glop it into your lined pan.   

Unlike when pouring the hot liquid, this time you want to scrape every last bit of it from the pan.  (Except for a small sample for yourself, of course.)  Press it down with your fingers or a spatula so that it’s smooth-ish across the top. 

I had to share a taste of my sample with my little spectator because he was so good.  It’s got to be torture for a hound to smell food cooking for hours.  I mean, he can smell a cat walking by outside on the sidewalk while he lies on the couch with all the windows and doors shut.

Now, walk away from your fudge and allow it to just sit, uncovered for a few hours.  Not easy, but you’ll be busy licking the other pan and spatula clean for a while.  When you’re ready, carefully pull the whole thing out of the pan using the parchment ‘handles’, and place it on a cutting board.  Then, with a pizza cutter or a large knife, cut it into squares.  This fudge is really rich, so you don’t want them to be brownie sized. 

Since I was giving my fudge as a gift, I decided to make vanilla, as well.  Fudge is really versatile.  Want ‘nutella’ fudge?  Add hazelnut extract or Frangelico.  Want vanilla fudge?  Leave out the chocolate and add extra vanilla extract.  Want penuche?  Leave out the chocolate and replace the sugar with brown sugar.  Be creative.  You can make chocolate orange, almond, peppermint, irish cream, you name it.  

Homemade gifts are inexpensive, but very appreciated gifts.  Just stack up your fudge varieties inside a cellophane bag and tie it with ribbon.  How pretty is that? 

Just make sure you make plenty for yourself, because I guarantee, if done correctly, using high quality ingredients, this will be better than any fudge you've ever tasted.  Even stuff you pay $20/pound for, or more. 

What is your favorite homemade gift to give or receive?

Kid food and bar food

Every parent needs chicken fingers. Needs. They are a staple food of everyone under 12 and everyone over 21 (or 18 if you live in a country were voting and drinking are allowed at the same age.)

There was a time when chicken fingers were a quick snack to have with drinks. A basket of them shared with friends and many bottles of beverages, and never enough plum sauce.

And then... The Boy.

Chicken fingers are now kid food to me. No longer do they conjure images of friends falling off stools and sticky floors covered in peanut shells... now I see high chairs and thrown french fries and ketchupy fingerprints. Okay, yes, sometimes grownups turned the french fries into projectile weapons, but I think you know what I mean.

Unfortunately, a lot of what's available to parents is highly processed and full of excess salts and fats.

Yes, they're fast and easy and mindless, but they're really pretty mindless to make from scratch, and kids can even help make them. And it can be done in the time it takes to preheat the oven. Preheat your oven to 375. Quick! Do it now! Before I forget!

Chicken Fingers

What you need:

• 2 chicken breasts
• 1/2 c flour
• 1 egg
• 1/4 c milk
• 2 c bread crumbs
• 1 tsp dried rosemary
• 1 tsp chili powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pepper

If you're making fries too:

• a few small potatoes
• 1 tsp peanut oil

What you gotta do:

The fries take longer to cook than the chicken, so get them going first. Chop them any way you like. My dad's restaurant offered "silver dollar fries" and I loved them that way. The Boy is also enamoured with them, so that's what I make. (and here's the peanut oil that didn't make it into the ingredient pic)

Put the chopped taters onto a parchment lined cookie sheet and drizzle over the tsp of oil.

Alternatively, you could pour it into the palm of your hand. Rub the tiny bit of oil all over the potatoes. This is something kids can do. It's messy, squooshy and fun! A single layer works best for browning, but a bit of overlap is okay.

The potatoes need about 40 minutes total, so give them about a 20 minute head start on the chicken.

First thing to do with the chicken is the bread crumbs. If you don't already have some in the freezer (toss heels of bread into a ziplock bag and every once in a while toss them all into the food processor and you'll have a ready supply of your favourite bread crumbs always on hand) break up a few day old slices into the food processor and whiz for a few minutes.

That thing is freaking loud!

Seriously, if they were running this thing at work, hearing protection would be required.

Add the seasonings to the crumbs and give it a few more seconds to get them all incorporated, then transfer your seasoned crumbs to a large zip bag.

Break the egg into a shallow pan (pie pan works best) and mix in the milk.

Spread the flour onto another shallow pan or plate.

I like to beat the shit out of my chicken before I slice it.

The bottom of a pyrex measuring cup works nicely to flatten the breasts to a uniform thickness.

Slice into strips or chunks or a combination thereof, depending on whether your kid is demanding fingers or nuggets.

Here's where it's handy to have a helper.

With one hand only pick up a strip of chicken and drop it in the flour. Roll it around until it's completely covered. This is called "dredging".

Then plop it into the egg/milk mixture and roll it around until it's all wet. I don't know that there's an actual term for this. I'm sure that if there is Recipe Guy will come along and tell me.

Now, get your helper to hold open the large zip bag that has the crumbs in it, and drop your dredged, wetted chicken strip into the bag.

Have the child shake it gently. Gently! What the hell dude, it's already dead you don't need to kill it again! Sheesh.

Keep going until all of your fingers are in the bag. The chicken ones, not your totally gooey floured and egged fingers.

Zip the bag shut and let the kid give it one last good shake, toss it up in the air, dance around with it, sing songs to it... while you wash your hands.

Release your beast, I mean child, from the kitchen and retrieve the chicken from the bag. If you've got the time and your kid isn't about to starve to death (tip: if they are feed them carrots or beans or some other fruit/veggie now while they're waiting for dinner, then you won't have to try to convince them to eat veggies when there are yummy chicken fingers and fries on their plate!) lay the chicken fingers out and let them rest for up to 10 minutes; this makes it less likely that you'll lose coating when you fip them or remove them from the pan.

Oh, this is also the ideal time to freeze these things. Lay them on a cookie sheet, freeze for a few hours, then pack them into a fresh large zip bag for future use.

If you've got potatoes on your pan already, just shove them off to the side to make room for the chicken.

Bake the fingers at 375 for about 10 minutes, then flip them and bake for another 10.

The dipping sauce that comes with these seems to vary by region. When I lived in Alberta, it was honey mustard, BC you got plum sauce, here it's some kind of augmented mayo that people call "honey dill sauce" (but really just seems like mayo and dried dill to me), the southern US is all about ranch dressing, and small children require nothing but ketchup. Lots and lots of ketchup.

What do you like to dip your chicken fingers into?