rats

I've loved ratatouille ever since I read "The Princess and the Zucchini."

And no it was not erotica.

It's a short story from an anthology that was published in the early 80s by the University of BC press, and it's not your typical fairy tale. The princess does not kiss her frog (zucchini) and live happily ever after; instead, she makes dinner for the family.

Ratatouille.

And though eggplant is often seen as the primary ingredient in this provencal vegetable stew, you just can't make it without the zucchini.

Ratatouille

What you need:

• 1 large eggplant
• 2 zucchini
• 1/2 onion
• 1 red bell pepper
• 9 or 10 small tomatoes
• 8 cloves of garlic
• olive oil
• balsamic vinegar
• basil
• thyme
• marjoram

What you gotta do:

I actually took more steps in this than are absolutely necessary. I was also apparently vibrating when I made this because nearly all of the pictures are blurred by movement. But, it's stew, it's not like I need to show detail.

Preheat the oven to 425.

Chop the eggplant, zucchini, onion, and pepper into fair sized chunks, about 1 inch cubed. You can peel the eggplant if you want, but it's not necessary. I partly peeled mine. The colour is nice to have, but I find the skins can be tough sometimes.

Put the veggies in a large baking dish along with 6 of the garlic cloves, whole, and drizzle a few table spoons of olive oil over them.

See what I mean? Fuzzy.

Toss the oil and veg together so that they're all just barely coated with the oil.

This is the only perfectly clear picture of the night.

Roast the veggies for at least 30 minutes, then take them out, stir them, and poke at them to see if they're done. They should be tender, on the way to being soft, but not mushy. They may need another 15 minutes in there. Mine did.

But that's okay, because it gives you time to make the sauce.

So, yes, you could just put the tomatoes and herbs in the baking dish and do it all in one pan. But you don't have quite as much control over the moisture level that way. And most of the moisture is going to come from the tomatoes. I wanted a very thick stew, not at all soupy, so I did my tomatoes on the stove top in a small pan.

First though, chop them into chunks about the size of the rest of the veggies and remove the seeds and pulp. That part alone gets rid of a fair amount of moisture.

Chop the garlic, and chiffonade the basil as well.

Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a shallow pan. Drop in the tomatoes and garlic and let them cook for a few minutes. The pan should be hot enough that the tomatoes sizzle as soon as they're in, and they should stay bubbling the whole time. It won't take long for the tomatoes to lose their shape and turn into something resembling a thick sauce.

Once they have, add the herbs.

Three pictures of the damn sauce and this is the clearest one. I gave up.

Basil is apparently some kind of faux pas in ratatouille because it's considered too Italian for this French dish, which I totally don't understand because it is considered a "herbe de Provence" like the thyme and marjoram are. Lavender is too, and while I have some in the cupboard, I'm saving it for a fabulous dessert.

By the time the tomatoes have cooked down, the veggies should be done.

Pour the tomatoes over them, then add about a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.

Okay, the blur in this one might be my fault, because I was pouring and picturing at the same time. But still! That's amazingly fuzzy, even for me.

Gently stir this all together. The veggies should be able to hold their shape as they're being coated by the tomatoes and vinegar.

I know, it seems a little odd to be pouring vinegar into a stew, but it gives the sweet veggies a bit of zing.

Serve with some crusty french bread, or some garlic toast with mozzarella.

If that's not too Italian for you. (seriously, where do people come up with this shit)

You can serve this with rice, or noodles, or as a side with chicken. Me, I'd rather eat it with a spoon. I also want to try putting it on the garlic bread and baking the mozzarella on top of it...

DIY, the not so extreme version

Indoor gardening is still gardening.

At the grocery store last week, I mentioned to the cashier that I wanted to plant the "live" basil I was buying. I mean, it came with roots, and in a cute little bag full of nutrient water, and looked perfectly plantable. At first she looked at me like I was nuts, and then like I was some kind of freaky genius. Because if I plant it, it will keep growing and I can keep harvesting it.

Freaking genius!

You could do the same with those "live" lettuce heads you see sometimes.

I've heard of people sprouting avocado pits and planting them too.

And if you get herbs that were cut right, you can sprout them too.

Yes, I know, I could just go to the garden store and buy seedlings, but it's more fun this way. There's a certain amount of challenge, a bit of suspense, that point of frustration where you're sure it won't work and so you stop checking it and stop adding fresh water...

And then you realize there are roots on your lemongrass stumps.

And in a couple days there are lots of them.

Lemongrass is extremely easy to root, and fairly fast growing. If you're going to put it in planters outside, make sure you are able to move them. This is a tropical grass and it doesn't like any kind of cold at all. You'll have to bring it inside in the winter.

Or just harvest it all and start again in the spring.

It's not like this is difficult.

If you're going to keep it indoors year round, choose a bright and sunny spot, as full sun as you can get.

I used a regular organic houseplant medium. i.e. Potting soil.

And potted it like a typical houseplant.

In a nice pot, it would make a lovely hostess gift or housewarming present. Include a recipe for Beef Chow Fun, or Thai Green Curry.

And you can always start another batch for yourself.

Have you ever sprouted something weird? (Your kids don't count)