Someone give that girl a sammich

No, I dont' think it's quite over. The Mayhem that is. This is one hell of a long month.

Taneasha is still on the road, still plagued by the strangest weather. Srsly, the woman is like some kind of tornado magnet. Me, I've decided that working full time over the summer isn't enough. I have to do school too. Evening calculus, here I come. Well, I do school full time and work part time the rest of the year, I should be able to pull this off, right? Right??

Feeding myself in the 45 minutes I'll be home between work and school three nights a week for the next 8 weeks is gonna be fun. I'm going to do a bunch of cooking ahead, have actually started with that and no, Taneasha, I didn't remember to take pictures /hangs head in shame/. I do however have pictures of a meal that commonly goes unappreciated.

The sammich.

Humble, yet satisfying, and creators of very few dirty dishes, these things have for some reason become some kind of good-enough meal, something we sigh and resign ourselves to. But really, what beats a couple slices of bakery fresh bread made with locally grown organic whole grains with a crusty exterior and tender inside carefully cuddling an infinitely variable collection of delectible meats, savoury cheeses, perfect veggies and just the right amount of condiment. Ha. Who says purple prose is dead?

Fresh bread is an absolute requirement for me and sammiches. I'll give it two days and then the rest of the loaf is relegated to toast (now there's a meal to sigh about). Besides, when you're craving egg salad, you really need fresh soft bread. It's squishy and gooey and way too likely to ooze all over your palms if it's not on the right kind of bread.

And I was craving egg salad. And I am completely unable to control cravings. And because of that I sometimes don't take anywhere near enough pics. But, I mean, it's a freaking sammich, I think you can figure it out without the visual aids.

Egg Salad Sammich

What you need:

• 2 slices of the freshest bread ever
• 1 egg, boiled for about 10 minutes
• 1-2 tbsp mayo
• salt & pepper & butter
• Optional, at your discretion, to your taste, and depending what you happen to have in the fridge at the time:

• minced chives or green onion
• red onion
• pickled onions
• pickled asparagus
• hot pickled beans
• picked pickles
• olives, black or green
• dill, thyme, basil, tarragon, marjoram
• chili powder, cumin, caraway, paprika
• bacon
• horseradish
• ham
• capers
• sundried tomatoes
• jalapenos, pepperoncinis, banana peppers
• what else is in your fridge?

What you gotta do:

Peel and mash the boiled egg. Mash it first. Don't add the mayo yet, you don't know how much you need!

Add the other stuff to the bowl. I had some cipollini onions in balsamic vinegar (if you've never had them, find them, they're fabulous),

bacon of course, and some dill that I'd dried and jarred last summer.

Once you've got all your goodies in the bowl with the egg, start adding the mayo. And by mayo I mean real mayonaisse, not some kind of weird whipped salad dressing. And by start, I don't mean plop it all in there. Too much mayo will totally kill an otherwise awesome egg salad. And once it's in there, there's no getting it out. Start with a teaspoon or two and mix it in completely before you add the next one. For once I'm going to say that wetter is not better. You don't want the creamy goodness on your hands as you're trying to eat.

Shred yourself some lettuce. Shred. Don't try to lay a whole leaf of iceburg on top of egg salad and expect it to work. For one, iceburg is useless and flavourless. At least use romaine. And shred it as finely as you can. Stack them, roll them, and slice them into tiny hairs of lettuce. Egg salad is actually one of the more delicate things you can put between sliced bread; you don't want to go overpowering it with huge crunchy chunks of leaf.

The matter of butter on bread is one of great debate. Some need it, some hate it, some want it on one side only, some only need it if there's no mayo... holy crap. Do what you want. Me, I need butter on sammiches and on toast. Regardless of what else is on there, I need the butter. You, you do whatever your little heart desires. This is your sammich.

Start assembling your masterpiece. Butter, mayo, whatever you want on the bread. Next, the egg salad. I don't spread mine all the way to the edge because I know it's going to squish a bit. Now, the delicately sliced (and apparently very shiny) leaves.

Cut the sammich any way you want. Or don't. This is a very personal thing and everyone seems to like them done differently. Who am I to tell you how best to arrange your meal.

The only thing I will insist on is a pickle. Every great sammich needs a pickle. Yes, you could have a few potato chips, maybe some carrot sticks, but even with those on the side, you need a pickle.

Okay, I'll admit it, that is definitely not the best looking sammich I've ever made. That was a muffaletta, which I promise to make for you some day. This though, this is dinner. No, not lunch. Sammiches are dinner too.

What kind of sammich do you eat for dinner?

Welcome to May(hem!!!!)

It snowed in Winnipeg yesterday. This kind of stupidity is why people who live north of North Dakota rarely plant anything in their gardens before the May long weekend.

Oh, but that's just the beginning...

Taneasha has sold nearly all of her worldly posessions in preparation for a 2000 mile eastward cross country move and I'm planning on spending the next 2 weeks 2000 miles south of home and as naked as possible.

I've already been here for two days and I've made pork kebabs, tabouli, pita breads (holy crap they worked!), refried beans, dewberry muffins with fresh off the vine dewberries (I have the scratches on my arms to prove it), and there's currently a sweet potato pie in the oven.

I haven't taken a single freaking picture. Yes, I brought my camera. I've just been a little... distracted.

Hey, I'm somewhere warm, there's a fabulous herb and veggie garden out front, horseys in the pasture out back, and a Viking (aka Recipe Guy) in my bed. Well, actually, I'm in his, but still. I think it's a pretty freaking good excuse for not taking pictures. No, you can't have pictures of Recipe Guy in bed.

What you can have pics of is something we made together when he was visiting me in the frozen wasteland that I unfortunately call home (yes, a Viking who lives somewhere warm and visits me in the north, irony, I know). You've already seen part of that meal...

Tex Mex Rice

What you need:

• 1/2 onion
• 1 jalapeno
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1-2 tsp bacon fat
• 1/2 tsp oregano
• 1/2 tsp cayenne
• 1 cup stewed, diced tomatoes
• 1 cup leftover rice

What you gotta do:

Finely dice the onion and jalapeno. Mince the garlic.

Heat the bacon fat in a small pot or deep frying pan over medium heat. Add the onion, garlic, jalapeno, and spices. Stir a lot. You don't want the spices to burn, but you do want to get that onion softening.

Drop in a cup of tomatoes. Yes, I know the tins are never exactly a cup. You can always use a small tin (I think they're usually around a cup and a half) and scale up the rest of the recipe, but I had a big tin so I used a cup and froze the rest in a container.

Give the tomatoes a few minutes to warm up and combine with the other flavours.

Dump in a cup of leftover rice.

If you want to eat right away, all you really need to do is heat it through. But it can definitely tolerate up to about 20 minutes (long enough to heat a pan, get a small steak to medium, and let it rest a bit before you slice it thinly)

All right, there you go. That's the first post of the month of May(hem!!!!). Stick around, things are going to get a little wacky. Taneasha will be eating road food and I'll be showing you how to impress a Southern boy. ;)

Update on Tuesday, May 3, 2011 at 7:33PM by Taneasha

What Seeley actually meant, was that she was posting this lovely Mexican side dish in anticipation of Cinco de Mayo.  We are totally on top of the holidays here.