Muffin Win!

I really needed something to go right today.

Today was one of those crappy days. I didn't sleep well last night, we started double iterated integrals in calculus class and the prof warned we're going to speed through it toward the final, the grocery store told me they wouldn't exchange the buttermilk I accidentally bought for the real milk I really wanted (some stupid rule about not exchanging perishables after they leave the store.... um, I didn't notice when I grabbed it, how the hell am I supposed to notice before I get home??), it's quarterly report time at work, the line up at the post office was ridiculous and then the clerk took like 10 minutes and three phone calls to find the right form (yes, Recipe Guy, I mailed your headphones back to you), I forgot to get eggs on the way home and had to go back out for them, and then the applesauce I'd been planning on turning into muffins had turned into mold.

If I had railroad-train pajamas, someone would probably make me wear them.

Gah!

It was 8 pm and I hadn't even had dinner, nevermind finish the assignment that's due in my mechanical engineering class tomorrow.

And so, I decided to wing it.

Again.

I have now decided that March is wing it month. No clue what I'm going to make next week, but I'm sure as hell not going to have a recipe handy when I start.

So, with no applesauce, and utter determination to make muffins, I came up with these:

Oatmeal Date Muffins

What you need:

• 1 c quick oats
• 1 c flour
• 2 tbsp ground flax seed
• ½ c sugar
• ½ tsp salt
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• ¼ tsp cardamom
• 1 c chopped dates
• ½ c butter, melted
• 1 c plain yogurt
• 1 c pear juice (or apple, or orange, or even milk)
• ½ tsp vanilla
• 1 large egg

What you gotta do:

Preheat the oven to 400°F. Holy crap I remembered. Win! This is looking good already.

Put all the dry ingredients (oats, flour, flax seed, sugar, salt, baking soda, cinnamon, and cardamom) into a big bowl,

And mix them together.

In another bowl stir together the yogurt, egg,

vanilla (crap, there’s no vanilla in the ingredients pic), and butter.

Now, I wasn’t sure I’d need the juice, but once I had the wet ingredients all together I figured the mixture wasn't “liquidy” enough. It seemed too... gloopy.

So I decided to add ½ c of pear juice.

That helped. More liquidy.

Now the dates. They’re so sweet that sugar has started to form on their surfaces.

These things are sticky and sweet. If they were hot, you'd have Def Leppard in your head now wouldn't you?

They’re also really soft and easy to chop up. And if you use the same butter knife that you used to cut up the butter, and to level the flour in the measuring cup, you only have to dirty one knife. What? I had to use an extra bowl, I’m going to conserve any way I can.

Pitted dates. Yup, pitted. See the pit? Bastards.

Once you’ve mashed/chopped a packed cup of dates… hm. Add to dry or wet? I opted for wet. But the wet bowl was a little on the small side, and it was tough to bust up the packed cup…

So I just dumped it all into the dry ingredients and started stirring.

About half way through, I realized I didn’t have enough liquid. This is where I added the other ½ c of pear juice. This is a dangerous thing to do. (not easy to photograph either)

I've had to add liquid at the end of a muffin recipe before and what came out of the oven was more like a hockey puck than it was a muffin.

When you make them, put all the juice into the wet bowl.

Mix the wet into the dry just enough to get it all combined. The dates seemed to break up nicely as I stirred. The reaction between the baking soda and yogurt had already started and the batter was nice and fluffy.

Divide the mixture into 12 muffin cups.

Bake for 20 minutes. A toothpick should come out clean. If you don’t have toothpicks, and I never do, spaghetti works just as well.

Let them cool in the tin for a few minutes before taking them out to finish cooling on the rack.

I was a little worried about how these would come out since I had to add that emergency ½ cup of juice at the end, but OMG muffin win. These things are soft, dark, moist. Just barely sweet, and with nice chunks of dates.

And since Taneasha's always piling muffins up into little pyramids, I thought I'd try too...

So, what went right for you today?

VD

Extreme close up food porn.

So, I totally don't do the VD thing, and I have a wicked cake-fail that I thought would have made a fabulous post for today, but it's probably going to end up nearly as long as Taneasha's fucking awesome birthday cake post, and I've got a house guest and a mid-term tomorrow.

I've also got amaretti cookies that are amazing on their own, but a fabulous ingredient to use in other things. If you don't have time to make a batch of your own, check in your grocery store for them. Most of the larger chains will have them (probably either on the top or bottom shelf), but if not, an Italian deli or grocery will definitely have them.

Chocolate Terrine

What you need:

• 1 tin sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 c butter
• 6 oz semisweet or bittersweet chocolate (chips work)
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 3/4 c dried cherries
• 3/4 chopped dried apricots
• 1-1/2 c chopped or crumbled amaretti cookies

What you gotta do:

Half fill a medium pot of water and put it on the stove to boil. Once it's boiled, turn the heat down to medium low, and cover the pot with a large heatproof bowl. Double boilers used to be quite common and every cookware set came with one, but they seem to have fallen out of fashion. Meh, the bowl on the pot works just fine. Just make sure it's glass or metal, and that you have a heating pad and / or oven mitt handy.

In the large bowl, combine the sweetened condensed milk, butter, chocolate, and cinnamon.

Stir gently as it all melts together.

Once it's nice and smooth, you can take it off the heat.

Stir in the fruit and cookies.

You can also add chopped almonds here if you want. They'd be tasty. So would hazelnuts, I think. Walnuts are not acceptable. Absolutely not. They don't have the smooth interior that almonds and hazelnuts do, and they don't have the same sweetness either. Walnuts are a savoury nut in my kitchen and go in things like salads and sauces.

The description "terrine" is not usually applied to dessert type foods, but really there's no other way to describe this dish based on what we're about to do next.

Line a loaf pan with foil, and then with plastic wrap. Yes, you need both. Yes, I have tried with only one and it doesn't work. While I will admit to pantsing in the kitchen on a regular basis and then subjecting you to the outcome, this isn't one of those times, I've made this dish on many occasions and believe it or not I actually know what I'm doing.

For a change.

Pour the chocolate-cookie-fruit(-nut) mixture into your double lined pan. Looks lovely doesn't it. Perfect for VD.

Tap the pan on the counter a few times to get any air bubbles out then smooth the top with a spatula.

Fold over the plastic wrap so that the chocolatey goodness is sealed in, then cover the top of the pan with foil.

Let this chill in the fridge for a few hours. I'm sure you can find something to do while it sets; I mean, this is the socially constructed day where once a year we have no choice but to show our romantic partners some kind of attention that should include large expenditures of money, right?

Or you could just get naked and fuck. Like every other day. Whatever.

After a few hours you can unmold the tasty loaf. It should be good to go after about 3, but 6 is ideal.

If you didn't make reservations 3 months ago for dinner at some expensive restaurant that serves food you could probably just make yourself anyway, and are now panicking to make some food, this dessert is something you should make in the morning. Or yesterday. I'm so helpful, I know.

As you try to unwrap it, if the chocolate is sticking to the plastic and you're pulling the chocolate pate out of it's lovely prismic shape, it's too soon. Re-wrap and give it another hour.

There will be a bit of sticking, but you shouldn't be pulling off chunks of chocolate with the plastic.

Since this is a lovely loaf shape, cut it with a sharp knife into slices.

Perfect dessert. Rich, smooth chocolate with chewey friut and crispy cookies. It is rich though, and a small slice is all you need. But you'll probably want more. It's okay, you can burn off the calories by fucking.

What's your favourite way to burn calories?