Poppy Seed Mayhem!!

When we started May-hem two years ago, we just assumed it was a one off thing.  I think we might have cursed ourselves, though, because when May rolls around, madness ensues.  Now, I don’t often have kitchen failures, but when you make up your own recipes, things are bound to go wrong occasionally.  This poppy seed bread, however, has been a complete kitchen calamity.

Attempt #1:  Wow… just wow. 

Attempt #2:  Seriously?

So, after all that, I made even more adjustments, and finally created the perfect batter. 

Here’s what you’ll need:    

• 2 ½ cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 1 ¼ cups sugar
• Zest of a lemon (about 1 Tablespoon)
• ¼ cup butter (1/2 stick)
• ¼ cup oil
• ¾ cup buttermilk
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1-2 teaspoons almond extract
• 1 ½ Tablespoons lemon juice
• ¼ cup powdered sugar  

The first thing you need to do is pull out all your ingredients so they can come to room temperature.  Measure out your buttermilk and add the poppy seeds. 

Stir them in, and allow them to soak while everything warms up. 

The other thing you can do while you’re waiting is make the lemon sugar.  Remove the zest of a lemon, making sure to get only the yellow part.

You should end up with about 1 Tablespoon. In a container with a tight fitting lid, put the sugar and zest. 

Pop the lid on and shake like crazy.  Not only does this distribute the zest throughout the sugar, but the friction releases the lemon oil.  (and OMG does it smell good!)

When all of your ingredients are room temperature, go ahead and preheat your oven to 350°.  Also, butter and flour a large loaf pan. (2 quarts)  Then, into your mixing bowl go the butter, lemon sugar, and oil.

Mix those until they’re nice and creamy. 

Add the eggs, vanilla, and almond extract.  Yes, I know poppy seed bread is usually lemon OR almond, not both.  But why?  Lemon and almond make a great combination. 

Mix until the eggs are completely incorporated.  And you see what gives this bread the lovely yellow color?  It isn’t the lemon, it’s the egg yolks.  But don’t tell your brain.  To it, lemon = yellow.  Seriously, have you ever tried to figure out the flavor of something clear?

Pour in the buttermilk and poppy seeds. 

When that’s incorporated, sift in the flour, soda, powder, and salt. 

Gently fold that in until it’s just combined.

Scrape the batter into your prepared bread pan.  See?  I told you it was the perfect batter. 

Even it out on top.  Hmm… that looks a bit full for a loaf pan.  Oh well, I’ll bake it on a sheet pan just in case, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.  Third time’s the charm, right? 

Into the preheated oven for about 1 hour.  When you pull it out… Son of a beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.  May-hem!!! 

Ok, so in doing a little research, most 9x5 loaf pans are 2 quarts.  Although mine measures 9x5, it has thick walls and is quite tapered, so it is only 1.5 quarts.  Check the volume of your loaf pan.  If it is more than 6 cups, you’re good to go.  If mine hadn’t overflowed, it would have been beautiful, but alas, it has a slightly fallen center.  Oh well, perhaps in a month other than May, I’ll make yet another attempt at perfection.  For now, this will have to do.   

It’s not yet complete, though.  It needs to be glazed.  Allow it to cool in the pan for 10 – 15 minutes, then carefully turn it out onto a cooling rack.  Sift ¼ cup powdered sugar into 1 ½ Tablespoons of fresh squeezed lemon juice. 

Stir until you have a nice, smooth glaze.

Brush the glaze over the top of the bread. 

Continue until you run out of glaze.  It’ll probably be at least 2 coats.  It will give the top of the bread a beautiful, shiny finish. 

Allow it to cool completely before slicing.  To store it, wrap it tightly in plastic.  You can even wrap individual slices and freeze them if you’re not going to eat it all in 2 or 3 days.  But I doubt that will be necessary, because it's the best poppy seed bread you've ever had.   

What recipe has been your undoing in the kitchen? 

1-2-3-4 Can I Have a Little More?

All together now!

The first cookie request was shortbread. One of the easiest things to make and one of the most difficult to perfect. They should be tender, but not flakey, sweet, but not cloying, simple, but flavourful.

Sounds nearly impossible, I know. But really, it's as easy as 1, 2, 3... 4.

This recipe came from an old friend of mine. We did a cookie exchange every xmas, and I'd ransom my army of tiny gingerbread men for her shortbread coins. When I finally saw how she made them, I was stunned. So few ingredients and the preparation breaks all kinds of cookie rules. But, rules were made to be broken, right?

I've actually got plans to break more, so I figure this is a good way to work you into the idea of making cookies in a somewhat less than traditional manner.

Shortbread Cookies

• 1 c brown sugar
• 2 c unsalted butter
• 3 c flour
• 4 tbsp cornstarch

Now you know how I managed to remember the recipe all these years.

The most important thing to notice though: UNsalted butter. Most cookie recipes include salt to help the leaveners work, and so salted butter can be used as long as you decrease the added salt. This recipe, you may notice, requires neither of those. No salt to decrease, so no salt in the butter.

Brown sugar is also not entirely traditional, but with the absence of vanilla or any other flavouring the little bit of molasses goes a long way. It also adds a bit of gold to the "coins."

Now, this is where things get a little weird...

Put all of the ingredients into a bowl. (Butter really needs to be soft and room temperature)

Squish them.

I told you we'd be doing weird non-cookie preparation things.

You have to use your hands for this. Have to.

Don't knead, just squish. Kneading will start gluten forming and lengthen the dough. We want shortbreads, not longbreads.

In only a few minutes you'll end up with a very soft ball of dough. And no spoon to wash.

Much too soft to do anything with right now. 

So, split it into two, make sausages out of them, and chill them like we did to the creamsicle cookie filling.

Give them at least a half hour to chill and stiffen.

I left mine in there for about 2 hours.

And preheated the oven as soon as I took them out of the fridge.

300 degrees.

With a sharp knife, slice them just under a half inch thick. 8mm. or 3/8 of an inch.

They don't spread much so you can pack quite a few onto the parchment covered sheet.

Ideally, shortbread cookies should have no colour on the bottom of them. The low cooking temperature makes that easy. If you use white sugar and temps as low as 200F (you have to cook them for 20-25 minutes in an oven that low) you can get very pale cookies. Me, I like the caramel flavour that comes from the brown sugar and I'm not patient enough to wait 25 minutes for a sheet of cookies.

So, I do these at 300 for 15 minutes. Some came out a little on the golden side, but this is what you're looking for:

Top and bottom are pretty much the same colour.

They're very soft when they come out of the oven. Give them a minute on the sheet, and then slide the parchment onto the cooling rack.

When they're cooled, stack them into the magic cookie tin.

The crumbly, sandy texture of these absolutely melts in your mouth.

A few dozen of these and you can have my entire gingerbread army.

What cookie have you used as currency?