Mayhem, the Musical!

Beans are not a fruit.

It is officially the end of Mayhem. Taneasha is almost home, and I’ve almost remembered to get stuff for dinners each day this week. Srsly, I eat way too much cereal.

I’ve got one more recipe from my time in the south, and it’s a true southern dish that starts with "the trinity". Now, of course with anything this quintessentially part of a cuisine, there will the various and assorted variations on ingredients, methods, and opinions on how to make it properly.

I think with a dish like this, there will also always be variations based on the ingredients at hand. I mean, this is not some kind of haute cuisine concoction that requires specifically harvested delicacies that only grow in one part of the world. This is budget food at its finest. Most recipes I’ve seen also call for a small amount of precooked meat added at the end. That there is called using up the leftovers folks. Basically it’s a vegetable protein and carb that were advertised as healthy in afterschool public service announcements.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heKYNWFBkW8

(nope, I don't know how to make html tags to insert a video, deal with it)

The Schoolhouse Rock Gang were right! It’s damn tasty.

And cheap. And freezable. And infinitely variable.

(As usual, since I cook for one 90% of the year, the recipe I have written down is for as small a batch as possible. I‘ve found that  it’s much easier to double a recipe than to cut one in half. What you see us make is a quadruple batch!)

Red Beans and Rice

What you need

• ½ lb small red kidney beans, washed
• 6 oz pork sausage, diced (or, leftover ham, as you'll see)
• 4 C water or stock
• 1 med onion, chopped fine
• 1 stalk celery, chopped fine
• 1 bell pepper, chopped fine
• 3 cloves garlic
• 1 bay leaf
• ½ tsp cayenne pepper
• ½ tsp thyme, dried, or a bunch of fresh from the garden (what? me measure?)
• ¼ tsp salt
• black pepper, pinch
• curly parsley, fresh

What you gotta do

Do not soak beans.  That’s right, I said “do not.” I realize that some people are having hairy conniption fits right now but I’ve never understood this whole bean soaking thing. I mean, you’re going to cook them anyway. Besides, soaking beans requires way too much forethought. They take hours to cook as it is, which is more planning than I put into most meals (see reference to cereal, above). To soak them would require that I know a whole day ahead of time that I’m going to want beans for dinner.

Really the rest of the procedure can be summed up in the following sentence:  Put everything but the parsley in the pot and cook it all until the beans are done.

But I have a bunch of pictures and I figure you should have something to read in between them.

So, you start by chopping stuff. And checking through the beans to make sure everything in the package really was beans.

You put the beans in the pot and add the liquid.

We used 8 cups of chicken broth and 8 cups of water (quadruple batch remember) and... the Easter ham bone. Water alone will make a tasty batch of beans, but if you can get your hands on a ham bone… holy crap, these were some freaking awesome beans.

Put the bone in the pot and chop more stuff.

A nice glass of iced tea (or just tea as they apparently call it in the South where no one drinks "tea," or hot tea as they call tea) is handy to have during all the strenuous chopping.

Add the herbs and keep chopping. There really are benefits to cooking for only one person.

Add the spices and stir it all up.

You see that lovely deep burgundy bean colour? You’d totally lose that if you soaked them first.  Now, instead of throwing away that colour, it’s going to end up in your food and give the resulting broth a rich beany colour.

So really, all you have to do now is put it on the stove and walk away.

If you check after 45 minutes or so you’ll see that the beans are already starting to give up their colour.

After an hour and a half, maybe 2 hours, they’ve definitely changed colour.

After a few hours any meat left on that bone will be either in the pot already or perfectly willing to come off it.

And there was so much meat left on the ham bone that we decided to save the sausage for the next day and just use the ham. Look at us stretch the family food budget. ;)

So while I was picking the meat off the bones

which, for some reason, I find strangely soothing and will offer to do after every holiday dinner, Recipe Guy was mashing a few cups of beans and putting them back in the pot. Mashed beans are a fabulous way to thicken any gravy.

We added the ham back in,

chucked the bone, and added a little more salt. It’s really best to start this dish with as little salt as possible and correct at the end.

A scoop of rice, a scoop of beans, a handful of parsley and a dash of hot sauce. Or, if you’re me, 8 dashes of hot sauce.

And if you find a crawdad (aka land shrimp) hanging around on the property, make sure you cook them before you try to eat them.

They fight back.

Man, the amount of wild (aka free) food down there is just awesome for the family food budget. What’s your favourite budget meal?

Pancakes with Homemade Blueberry Syrup - No Mayhem?

That’s right, pancakes.  I know, it seems like something so basic, but you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve seen thin, rubbery discs served with maple flavored corn syrup.  Pancakes should be soft and fluffy, and nothing beats homemade fruit syrup. 

Let’s start with the syrup.  I like to make it the night before so that it has plenty of time to cool.  It is so simple to make your own syrup, I don’t know why no one does it.  It takes only three ingredients and probably 20 minutes or less. 

So, here’s what you need. 

1 heaping cup blueberries
¾ cup sugar
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon butter (optional)

Yes, I know I said three ingredients, and there are four listed, but the butter is not strictly necessary.  Its only purpose is to prevent foam.  Either fresh or frozen blueberries will work just fine for this.  I had a big bag of frozen ones, so that’s what I used.  If you use frozen, you’ll need time for them to thaw before making the syrup.  Once you have a heaping cup of thawed blueberries, throw them into the blender with 1 tablespoon of fresh squeezed lemon juice.  Blend until smooth. 

Pour the puree into a sauce pan and add the sugar. 

You’ll notice my sugar always looks a bit off white.  That’s because I always use organic sugar, and it’s less refined.  Anyway, stir in the sugar and add the butter. 

Turn the burner to medium heat and stir constantly until it comes to a boil.  Allow it to boil for about 2 minutes.  The bubbles will start to kind of stack up on top of each other like this:

That’s it.  You’ve successfully made blueberry syrup!  Just pour it into a glass container and allow it to cool.  Be careful, though, mixtures like this are VERY hot. 

Now onto the pancakes. 

Ingredients:

2 large eggs
1 ¼ cups buttermilk
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 ½ cups flour
¾ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 tablespoons sugar

I know your first question will be do I have to use buttermilk?  Yes, you do.  Regular milk will not produce the same results.  You can apparently add vinegar to regular milk to simulate buttermilk, but the idea squicks me out a bit, so if you want to do that, you’ll have to google it yourself. 

Ok, pancakes.  In a mixing bowl, whisk together all the dry ingredients.  In a separate bowl (or measuring cup) whisk together the wet ingredients.  Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and whisk briefly.  You just want to get everything thoroughly combined.  A few remaining lumps will be fine. 

I like to use a griddle so that I can make several pancakes at once, but a pan will work just fine.  Using a paper towel, butter the griddle. 

Wipe most of the butter off so you can just barely see it on the surface. 

When the griddle reaches 350° you’re ready to cook.  If you're using a pan, you can test the temperature with a drop of water.  It should start to sizzle as soon as it touches the pan.  If it just sits there, the pan isn’t hot enough.  If it skips right off the surface, it’s too hot.  Pour your batter for whatever size pancakes you want. 

I think I used about ⅓ cup of batter for each one.

Allow them to cook until you see bubbles on top and the edges start to look dry. 

Now’s the time to flip.  Cook them for a couple more minutes.  They should be golden brown on both sides and should spring back if you press lightly on the surface. 

Stack them up and drizzle them with your fabulous blueberry syrup. 

Fluffy, tender, delicious.