Walkin' holy

No, this is not about cowbell.

It's a silly way of saying guacamole.

I'm totally panicked and pressed for time here. You'd think that now that finals are over (omg breathe!) I'd be relaxed, but no. I've got a 2 week vacation coming up and I've gotta do laundry, buy hostess gifts, pack, clean my bathroom... Yes, I really do have to clean the bathroom, I haven't cleaned it in over a month because no housework is necessary when finals are approaching.

So, this week's post is actually only part of a post. I made a nice big TexMex feast way back in February when I had a house guest to cook with and for. It was awesome, but since I'm pressed for time, you're only getting part of it. I promise to post the rest ... eventually.

Guacomole

What you need:

• 2 avocados
• 1 jalapeno (pronounced jah-lap'-en-oh a la the Trailer Park Boys)
• 1 lime
• a handful of cilantro
• 1 clove of garlic
• salt

What you gotta do:

Finely mince the garlic and put it in a bowl.

Slice the jalapeno in half and remove the seeds and white membrane. Dice it into tiny bits and add it to the bowl.

Wash your hands. I'm freaking serious. Do it now. Don't wait until you're done preparing everything. One touch anywhere near your eyes, nose or mouth will leave you strangely tingly... on second thought, maybe that's your kind of thing. Never mind.

Remove as much of the stem from your cilantro as you can be bothered with. Depends on the day for me; sometimes I pluck every single leaf and some days I just really don't care. Slice it up a bit, and add it to the bowl with the garlic and jalapeno.

Run your knife around the lower equatorial area of the avocado. I know some people do this longitudinally, but latitudinally works too.

Twist gently to get the two sides apart. One half will have a giant freaking seed in it. 

Carefully, whack the heel of your knife, not the tip, the heel, the part closest to the handle, into the seed until it's good and wedged in. Now twist the knife and lift gently. Seed pops out! Yay! But now you have to figure out how to get the seed off the blade without slicing yourself open. Good luck.

Slide a tablespoon in between the skin and the flesh of an avocado half, then run it all around the edges and lift. Voila, perfect.

Now, I know I say 2 avocados in the ingredients, but you keep seeing 3 in the pics. Well, that's because I'm in the frozen wasteland and fresh produce is iffy at best in the winter (I made this back in February remember) and it's pretty common to get avocados that look like this when you cut them open.

They are usually salvageable. You can easily remove them from their skin like the one above and then use the spoon to scrape away the bruised or way over ripe parts.

So, dump the equivalent of 2 avocados into the bowl with all the rest of the stuff.

Now, the lime. Really, this part is to taste. I love lime in my guac. Lots of it. Lots. Did I say lots? Because I meant lots. But, my co-cooker and dinner partner prefers it to be a little more subtle. Of course we had to compromise. Add about half a lime's worth of juice to start, and adjust it until you're happy. 

So, before you can check to see if there's enough lime, you'll need to mash. Consistency is up to you. I've seen people make guac with diced avocado and I've seen it done in a blender. I prefer it somewhere in the middle. Chunky enough that it has texture, but mashed enough that it'll stay in a clump on a chip.

Now, it's time to taste it.

Don't use a spoon. Use whatever vehicle you plan on using to eat the guac. Why? Because every chip brand has a different salt content. If you salt to taste from a spoon, it's going to seem way too salty when you eat it off a salted chip.

Add whatever salt you need, and whatever lime you want.

Now, you've got a handy snack, or part of a fancy TexMex dinner.

The rest of which I'll show you another time.

For now, just add tequila. Make it a double.

 

Comments

[Jennifer]

Yum! I make mine with onions, lemon juice and salsa verde. Love guac! I'll have to try this version too. :)

[Taneasha]

Dude! That lime is freaking huge! I've had a hard time finding them even as big as an egg lately.

I love guacamole, but I always put some kind of onion in... usually green. And if I forget the onion from the store, I'll put onion powder in a pinch.

[JulieD]

i love guacamole. looove it. i use a spice mix from Epicure (a Canadian company) to season it, with a spoonful of sour cream and lemon juice instead of lime. it's my favourite snack ever!